Its 4.30 pm in this part of the world. I am late for my afternoon tea which I usually have around 3.00 pm. I am also not having my usual milk tea, instead me sipping on a cup of black tea flavored with coffee and just two cubes of sugar and not three. Today is a day I experienced a lot of mixed emotions and I am glad it is ending with a good note.

Started off with the weighing scale showing me the worst ever result. In spite of all the knowledge I have about the calories, diet, healthy lifestyle - I tend to fall short in this aspect of losing the extra pounds. I was silly to not remember the fact that no one returns from the gulf the way they went. That has been so true in our family. Being an expat in Yanbu does not make it any better. How much physical activity can I accomplish being alone in this apartment. Honestly, when I was working, I wished I was homemaker so that I had all the time to workout. I felt devastated and remembered all me painstakingly working out at the gym back in Bangalore. So much of dedication and control, so much of discipline and desire, and then those shopping to bring in the right size cloths. All in vain. I have gained all that and more.

I go through this phase every time and then read my go-to books by Rujuta Diwekar (three times already) to just remember what I should NOT be doing anymore. And a phone call to F to tell him how I am going to go sugarless and never make any more desserts. A call to my mom to tell her that I am officially weighing more than her.  As I was upset, I turned to watch my fav series Packed to the Rafters (second time) Jules was having her baby and that kinda made me feel wish I have one too. Then falling into another set of emotional pain. I am not even sure if I am ready for one. I guess it is  what you attract first thing, bad feeling  gives birth to more bad feelings. Thankfully I did not open that packet of baked chips.

How are the local women here working out? Do they have a gym at home?  I know it is not the numbers it is how healthy and fit you should be. How can we measure a fitness without numbers? Measurements, weights, size, all are numbers. I have always been on the heavier side and now I  guess I am moving to Plus size cloth lines. :-( 

My phone beeped, it was a message from my BIL. My co-sister delivered a baby today and it is a boy! I was so happy. My mood switched to happy happy Fash. I am so waiting to get on a plane to India and hold the baby. 

I know lately I have been feeling very low and I never thought it is reflected on my posts until I re-read them. Is it the winter playing games with my tummy? I feel so hungry so often these days. Me making Rasam for tonight with a little rice and carrots and beans thoran. Oh! Common a little white rice is not gonna hurt. :-) 
There food just made me smile. love. 


  1. So many women go through this same thing so you're not the only one. A lot of women do have gyms in their home here. You should get a treadmill, I bet that would make you feel so much better. I want to get one as well. It's so easy t eat when you're bored it seems.

    1. So true Noor, F and I have been thinking on those lines. Treadmill it is then.


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